Have you ever stopped doing something and then felt guilty or like you’re going to get in trouble for starting back up on it?
That’s sort of how I feel right now. Actually sort of would be innaccurate in that it is understating my feelings.
I feel like that because I haven’t done any writing in so long. I feel like that because I haven’t done any exercising for the last four weeks. I feel like that because there are some friends that I haven’t contacted in months/years. I even feel like that because of needing to go back to school.
You see, I have all these ideas for things to do, things to write about, things to try or experience, but that guilt and fear stop them from being made into anything more than a few firings of neurons behind my eyes.
Some things I want to share include life-changing things like the fact that I got married last week. And this time around there is no desire to hide that or make less of it than what it is. Just writing about it here has sprouted several thought strands I could follow for this or other posts…
Other things are just plain goofy and fun things I have done recently and what sort of ideas have come from those. Example was Anomoly Con last weekend. Highly amusing steampunk convention with some really gnarly costumes and attire. That was actually the spark that made me decide to get over my fear and worries and jjust try writing again. I’m also debating whether I am willing to try my hand at the crazy hard thing that sewing is for me.
And then there are just those ideas or dreams that I would like to take out of my brain and examine and dissect and put back together or disperse in the wind, whichever is more appropriate.
And last but not least, it would be nice to have a place to vent and rant about various political and social issues that I have been unwilling to post on places like Facebook – to anyone on my FB please note that I post less than a quarter of what I read or hear about.
So… the goal is to look past my fear and just write. Maybe without a goal like posting daily or weekly or whatever I’m less likely to set myself up to fail or whatnot.