Human connection

The yoga class I enjoy going to on Sundays is a “gentle yoga” class. We do very little in the way of vinyasa – continuous movements – which means we pretty much spend the majority of the class stretching. Yesterday was even more relaxing than usual in that we spent most of the time on our mats on our backs or sides doing much more conscious breathing and meditation than usual. It is a great way to end the week or start the week depending upon how you view the calendar. There’s one other thing that makes it one of my favorite classes; Aliza, the instructor, is also a massage therapist and most classes will come through and do some brief, but pleasant shoulder or neck massage, at least for those who are okay with it.

I bring this up because for me, I experience very little skin to skin contact in a day. It’s one of the reasons why I cherish snuggling and cuddling with Nathan in bed. It satisfies a need that I am rarely conscious of. The only other times I get that skin on skin contact is through handshakes, which most days I avoid, or through massage the once a month or so that I pay for it.

The contact through massage, or truly a more conscious, gentle, and traveling touch, is special to me in a way that I have found difficult to describe. It is not just a pleasant feeling, but nearly spiritual. I feel an opening up within myself and a mutual exchange between myself, the person who is in contact with me and the world. I don’t feel drained after this exchange but neither do I feel “too full”. I feel balanced, buoyant, relaxed, and at peace.ven

I believe that the reason that this does not happen with all contact like handshakes is that I have learned to avoid opening up because there are too many draining people out and about. This is especially true at work. The people I see there are not just mentally or physically ill and injured, but there are deep gashes on their emotional and spiritual selves. They pull on everyone around them to try to fill and heal those gaps whether they are brand new or years and years old.

I probably don’t feel the same complete opening when snuggling because it is a different sort of intimacy, one of grounding and rooting and safety. I have noticed that when there is more massage or traveling fingers/very gentle tickles from Nathan that I experience the more spiritual opening rather than the grounding/rooting feeling I get from our normal contact. It’s incredibly lovely when I am experiencing both. The extent of my relaxation is something I rarely feel except at those moments when I have found a “zen” moment in meditation.

It does make me wonder if others are aware if they have the same experience. Do they realize that there is this different sort of connection with people? How does the lack of connection within most western cultures influence how closed off and isolated we feel?

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