This really should be a “diary” thing rather than a blog post

Yeah, not really worth reading, but hey, it’s written so it’s going up.

Yay happy times: done with my first semester back at school. Huzzah! Now to wait for the grades. *sigh* I get about a month break then it’s time for summer semester, but hey, something of a break is better than nothing. Now to get ready for what will hopefully be my last math class in quite a while and what I am told may be the easiest class I will ever take, psych 101. I’m looking forward to neither of them really. Psych is something I love, but I really don’t enjoy learning much of the intro stuff – it’s almost like a history course rather than a human behavior course. Memorizing dates and names and all that good jazz. Ah well. And math… well, math is math. Useful, sure. But I don’t have any desire to do much with it beyond the basics. If I need to do more than the absolute basics then I have google and several friends and family that I can bug about such things. Maybe that’s just me being lazy. *shrugs*

My anxiety made a massive come back yesterday. Well, really it started on Sunday and just didn’t go away. I think it’s still here today, just not at quite the same level. It takes a lot of strength not to laugh when my patients try to tell me that I don’t have anxiety and could never understand how it feels. Their assumption that because I work in psych that I must not have any sort of psych troubles at all, despite the fact that they are completely normal human reactions to life, is kind of a compliment. We must be superheroes or something. Of course, I am usually being told that I’m heartless and just don’t understand and why do I even work in healthcare when I don’t give a fuck about others. It’s kind of interesting those don’t bother me much anymore. Being told that I don’t know what I’m talking about when it comes to meds or symptoms or whatnot… well that one I’m still working on.

I’m about ready to throw my phone out a window. Well, maybe not quite yet. I just switched my number over to an extra phone Nathan had gotten a few months ago as a warranty replacement. It’s the same model as my old one, but hopefully it won’t have the same bricking problem that mine did. If I can survive a phone that’s soon to be 3 years old for another 1 1/2 years, I may see about switching to a different carrier entirely. I’m really tired of paying so much for Verizon. I’m also really tired of having to set up my phone over and over again.

To be honest, I’m just really tired in general. I don’t know that I’ve felt rested in several weeks regardless of how much sleep I’ve gotten. It also doesn’t seem to matter whether I take any sort of sleep aids either. At least if I take something I feel like I’ve slept even if I don’t feel much more rested.

And lastly I have a few ideas for several things I want to write but I just can’t get up the energy to write them. I just kind of stare at the computer screen or journal and after a few minutes (or longer, I don’t do well with keeping internal track of time) just wander away. My thoughts just aren’t organized enough for such things I guess.

Too much whinging here. Ah well, maybe I can go on and do something more productive.

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