Feminist in the making

I have no idea why I woke up with this memory going through my head but I did and thought it was worth discussing.

Trigger warning for content including abstract discussion of rape.

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An Update That’s Almost Not Late!

Actually it is late but I can’t help it. I’ve changed jobs (OMG YAAAAAAAY!!!!) so now that my soul is no longer being sucked away by the monotony and zombifying outpatient job I may actually have more energy to write. After I figure out my schedule a bit more. I’ve mostly gone to nights which is awesome because night owl, whoooooootz!, but it’s been nights of intense learning for the new job and I also had a lab practical last week which was intense and two intense things at once make for a brain dead fae even with the new motivation and excitement of new things.

Right, so new thing is… working as a nurse in the county jail system! I’m actually an employee of Denver Health, a pretty damn awesome hospital that I hadn’t bothered to apply to before because I figured I wouldn’t get in and it was easier just to avoid that rejection. A previous coworker had talked up the jails and the team and I figured it wouldn’t hurt, especially given I had some rocking references to add to my resume (thank you Pam, Cynthia, Margaret, and Sloan!) Back to the place I’m actually working at… I get to work at both locations and wow is there a lot to learn. It’s not just the routine or the pace or the new methods of doing things or the people or the security or the Always Constant Reminders That Awareness Saves Lives or going back to overnights… it’s all of it. Everything. It’s also feeling like I’m doing something useful and still serving a population that is frequently thought of as lower than low. I get to learn! I get to do things on my own AND still work with a team. I get to have different experiences in that I have different floors to work on with their unique set ups and routines on top of the basic outline of the shift and variety is Mana to me. Mana from heaven raining down from a rainbow and tasting like skittles.

Have I mentioned that I’m excited? The over night crews have been pretty cool and welcoming which has been a relief. I wasn’t sure what to expect but they don’t seem to think I’ll completely ruin their shift so that’s something. I know several of the day people already from my Army thing and know that they are cool based on the reports I heard before I even applied and since I’ve started.

This is also my first go at being pool or PRN or whatever they call it here, and so far it’s not too bad. I have several planned things in the next month that I’ve already been able to plan around. There’s nearly a whole week I’m already booked up for and they were like, cool, whatevs, we’ll work around that, no problem. What kind of bizarre luck is all this and fuck yeah, I won the lottery.

I hope I’m this excited come a year from now. My coworkers think I’m too optimistic and naive and not toughened up enough. Here’s to hoping that when I look back at this in a year I’ll still be as excited and optimistic as I am now. Even at Bridge I never really lost my optimism for the work (sometimes the potential work only) that we could be doing and that each person that came through was worthy as a whole person even if they lied to and manipulated every person they encountered. I’ve been a nurse in psych for nearly 10 years and haven’t lost that optimism yet. I actually want to prove them wrong that one can work in jail and not be toughened up to the point of cynicism. That’s my goal. Maintain my attitude and enjoy my work. 🙂