Observation #251

Or perhaps I should consider this observation #1 since I will feel awfully silly when it comes to be September 8th next year and I discover that I have to do some funky logic jumps to not have observation #251 twice. Not that it matters to you lot. You lot just maybe want to know what in the world this is about.

Well, you and me both.

Not that I don’t know what it is that I’m about. Actually, I’ve only the vaguest idea of what I’m about, but that’s not going to stop me from meandering all about this page and about your page. I like wandering. It’s good for the soul. Or so I do believe.

Ah, but that observation. It was made as I was laying about, quite lazily I might add, in bed this morning. My fiance was having apparently unable to wake up to both his alarms and I was only conscious enough to know that I was completely unable to reach either without crawling over him and mostly out of bed to get to them. Twas my fault since I had handed his phone alarm to him about 10 minutes earlier to do something about. Once he managed to realize that both alarms were going off and that at least one of them needed to go (the man was smart enough to turn both off actually) he did one of the things that makes  me melt for him over and over and over; he rolled over and pulled me to his chest and may as well have said “stay” for all the wriggle room I was given. Not that I wanted any wriggle room. Oh no. I take full advantage of the fact that I have a whole 10 minutes until the alarms will go off again to enjoy that my fiance so subconsciously wants me there in his arms that even when he is still mostly asleep he pulls me close to him.

My observation is that one of the most amazing and loving feelings in the world is knowing that you are wanted and desired. Sometimes that just means cuddling as soon as you get home from work because you’ve been dreaming about it all day. Or work was really crappy and you just need to know that at least there’s one person in this world who loves you without any reservations or hesitations. Sometimes it means that you can’t keep your eyes or hands off your love, whether you’re supposed to or not and really, neither of you gives a damn. Sometimes it means that you get up and go to that party, that event, that extra thing that you weren’t planning on doing, because your love wants to or needs to and they need you and your support and that’s what matters and counts. And still other times it’s knowing that when the day comes a close and you’re both tired and exhausted and just want to sleep that the best sleep you’ll get is while snuggling with this amazing person who has for some reason agreed to spend their life with you.

To be wanted. To be desired. Truly, it is what most people believe will make them happy and will lead them to have a much more fulfilled life. I don’t know if it has made me happy, but I know that I am happy. I know that there are few things in this world that can make me smile as quickly as my fiance coming home from work and that welcome-back-home hug and kiss. I know I’m incredibly lucky to have found the man that I have. I know I never expected to ever know what it means to be loved and desired and wanted. Now that I know, I never want to live a life without any of them ever again. Because as amazing as it is to feel desired, it’s just as fantastic to know that I feel that same desire and attraction and want and need for him. It’s very reciprocal. As a matter of fact, if it weren’t reciprocal, I do not believe it would exist. But that’s another observation to be explored on another day.